Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
