I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
