one might say we're banned from that church
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
