were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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