p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
