did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
