it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
