He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
