Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
