Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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