dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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