I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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