Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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