so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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