see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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