All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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