I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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