oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
