How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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