I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
