Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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