this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
