go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
