My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
