He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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