When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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