Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
