remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
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Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
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you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
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