dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
