This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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