so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
