Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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