hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
