i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
