I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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