cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
