He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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