I'm gonna have a badass scar
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
as a side note pls kill me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
