my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
