I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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