Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They have beer where we have blood.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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