Pants 0. Shit 1.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
