I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
