Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
