So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
