i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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