theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.