why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
