it was like his penis was on wheels.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
