hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it