This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.