I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...