Texts From Last Night

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  (943): View more from

  You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

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  (943): You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka http://tfl.nu/wlgo
  Replies (10) Good night (5518) Bad night (941)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM

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  (606): I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM http://tfl.nu/m9e8
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (5614)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.

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  (205): i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail. http://tfl.nu/mxx0
  Replies (15) Good night (6378) Bad night (2068)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.

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  (801): my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/bqw0
  Replies (5) Good night (1024) Bad night (4068)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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  (203): You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet. http://tfl.nu/4f2y
  Replies (4) Good night (4315) Bad night (1031)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1650) Bad night (805)
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  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (2480)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally

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  (403): Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally http://tfl.nu/hf6w
  Replies (1) Good night (1734) Bad night (712)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good

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  (937): do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good http://tfl.nu/57yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1565) Bad night (704)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am too young to be this hungover

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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  (608): I am too young to be this hungover (262): Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th? http://tfl.nu/yoe0
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1150)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (1739)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.

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  (630): I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila. http://tfl.nu/fzc9
  Replies (3) Good night (419) Bad night (602)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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  (503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!" http://tfl.nu/pacv
  Replies (0) Good night (1003) Bad night (380)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

  (309): View more from Illinois

  THE MOOOOOOOON

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  (309): I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON (309): THE MOOOOOOOON http://tfl.nu/ew4x
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (200)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour

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  (775): She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour http://tfl.nu/ppge
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (370)

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