I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
