he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
