every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i think my cat just said my name.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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