the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
