I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize