I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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