Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize