Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Shame - the story of my life.
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