I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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