He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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