i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize