Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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