I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
