ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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